Dear Amanda,

Hello. I am in the middle of packing and I feel like even though I've been working for 2 straight hours I have gotten close to nothing done. And I have finally gotten that knot deep in the pit of my stomach which makes me think I'm finally starting to realize that I'm leaving and all that entails.I'm really excited because I picked out a necklace that I think each of the interns would like and I'm going to give it to them. Unfortunately when I brought things up here every time I came back from socal I didn't even consider what he'll it would be like trying yo pack it all into the like two bags and 3 boxes that I have and then throwing everything else into trash bags. Fun times. So I'm sitting here, typing to you and strategizing. Well, I guess I should get back to work I have lots to do... And I have to figure out how to get my car fixed today???? And I have no idea how in the world to do that. Yay!!!


I love you.

Dear Amanda.

First of all, I'd like to point out that I suck at life because I'm going to bed right now and I haven't memorized any of my scripture that's due tomorrow.

I think that I'm just going to make a little list of observations that I've made recently.

1. I've kinda been keeping a secret from you....I've been messing up a lot recently which has just made me feel like crap, like all the time.

2. I'm almost 100% sure that I am in shock and denial about leaving

3. I HATE reading one of my closest friend back home's blog because it just shows how life has moved on and other people have found their way into significant parts of her heart.... And yet I spent a good chunk of time reading it tonight, torturing myself, I guess trying to prepare myself for what is to come.

4. It really bugs me when people are super stressed and they show it / lash out at people and refuse to do other things that are required even though everyone else has the same amount of things to do, if not more.

5. I don't really like deep fried ice cream

6. I really like that old spice commercial.

7. I think that Danielle has the gift of leading people to the lord (evangelism?) because she seriously leads someone to God like everywhere we go. It's cool.

Alright, I'm exhausted

I'm going to miss you a lot. Don't make me leave! :(

xoxo

Dear Amanda,

I don't know what in the crap is going on in my life.
period.


love you.

Dear Amanda,

I've actually been thinking about keeping an online journal for the time that I'm in the Philippines. I know, ridiculous, the idea of me giving up something tangible and handwritten to get my aggravation/excitement/everything out. There are pros and cons..like for example, i can type a lot faster than i write. And, if i just do it on this blog then i won't have to worry about anyone but you reading it.. and you could make me a book of my own thoughts. But then, at the same time, seriously, journals are soooo cute. and, there's just something about having a full book that is full of handwritten pages. it reminds me that there was another person on the other side of that book, putting effort and endless hours documenting thoughts and feelings. you know? so it's a toss up.
I have always wanted to write an autobiography. Why not right?
It is actually in my personal opinion that everyone should have a biography about themselves. Because everyone is interesting.... and everyone deserves to be written about.

my thoughts for the day.

love you!

Dear Amanda,

So we do this thing called "OC Time" which is helping out with all of the coordinating of trips, right? So we work with Allison every, idk, tuesday and thursday afternoon coordinating trips and working on schedules and sending out emails and calling people: you know, the works. And we were assigned 3 projects for the end of the year that we need to have accomplished on top of our other assignments: and i just realized that they are going to be a little bit more of a task for me than i expected. Ever since about an hour and a half ago, i have been swimming in a sea of information about Brazil, Mexico and the Philippines trying to make binders and country info papers, and all that i have done [and no, i have not gotten distracted, for once] is empty out all the binders and sort out what will be helpful for me when i start to put them back together and start a country overview.

GOOOD TIMES.

i am a little worker bee.. and i WILL get everything accomplished.
:)
my determination will get me through.

xoxo

Dear Amanda,

I just spent some time looking at things on facebook, and I'm realizing more and more that life is not going to be the same when i go back home... my friends who were super close before will have moved on, and some of the relationships i had will be fizzing out. That seriously just depressed me, and makes me really want to just stay here longer. Something else I realized today, is that when I come back to visit, I won't see all the interns here. That makes me really sad. I really don't like transition times. I don't like that every two seconds someone comes up to me or mentions that "isn't it almost to the end of your time here?" or "It's going to be really sad when you guys leave"

you think you're going to be sad? hah.

I won't lie, I am truly excited for the unknown, for the future, but i can't help but think about how much it sucks at the same time. I'm finally comfortable here. I've found a family. [Lolly finally knows my name!]...I'm not ready to up and leave.
I guess somewhere in my head, until just now, i thought that i would come back and all my friends would be exactly the same and all the time i spent with them would keep me up there in their priority of friend "list"....but i realize now that is not true at all. People move on.....especially when you move to NorCal.

So...you've got to stick with me, K?
i need ya.

xoxo

Dear Amanda,

I am disgusting.
I smell, and I am just overall pretty gross.
but I am accomplished.
I can't wait til tomorrow.
I loved seeing you tonight. It was a ton of fun.

i love you so much!
xoxo

Dear Amanda,

So i am convinced that we are going to be waken up in the middle of the night, if not early in the morning tomorrow morning. And, i think Arnie is in on this conspiracy.

those are my conclusions.

love and miss you!
xoxo

Dear Amanda,

everyone says thank you and they love you for the treats :)

xoxo

Dear Amanda,

did you know we are allowed to accept gifts that are brought to us, but not ask for them?

love you!
xoxo

Dear Amanda,

So first day of glory week is complete. Seriously, life is insane here. Me and zac made dinner tonight and we made seiously the most amazing stirfry thing ever... Ok he cooked it and I arranged it. So everyone is suspicious about what I'm doing rf
ight now so I g2g but don't worry I'm keeping a very well documented account for you. Love you! Xoxo

Dear Amanda,

So i've been thinking about your predicament [being stuck in the house all day long, all the time]
So i've come up with a list of things for you to do/try to entertain you.

1. try and lick your elbow
2. see how long you can hold a note.
3. count how many times your children run from wall to wall before they get tired of it.
4. try and swallow your tongue.
5. perfect your [insert favorite actress/actor here] impression.
6. watch tv, and repeat everything said with an italian accent.
7. step off a curb with your eyes closed and pretend you are falling off a cliff.
8. make prank phone calls. [don't forget to block your number]
9. see how long you can gargle water. is it harder with soda?
10. close your eyes and pretend you are in your favorite place in the world.
11. write me a note :)
12. dye your hair
13. dye your child's hair.
14. instead of folding laundry teach your children how to do it, but make it a game. Laundry monopoly anyone?
15. photo shoot! [that's what timer was invented for, right?]
16. teach yourself how to juggle.
17. have a lemonade stand
18. read a dictionary [improve your vocabulary for fun!]
19. learn how to make an origami swan
20. peanut butter smores. enough said.
21. try to catch 25 grapes in your mouth, one by one, in a row.
22. dye your hair with kool aid
23. frozen chocolate covered banana pops. mmmmmmm.
24. have a stay awake a thon. you would be pro at this.
25. laugh 400 times today. keep count.

do it.
hahahha.

love you!
xoxo

Dear Amanda,

This post is for the sole purpose of fawning over Glee.
Not only did i 1, have a dream about it last night,
but 2, i finished the whole season in two days.
I seriously love all the songs that they put in there... and the characters are phenomenal.
so dynamic.
i think that i love kirt, not only because of his fashion sense, but also his ability to sing Defying Gravity.

i'm pretty sure i just wish that life was like glee... where everyone just dances around and sings their feelings... it kinda makes me feel like high school musical on crack. a little bit more real too [can you imagine the uproar if troy got gabriella pregnant?!] anywho.

Life would be better if everyone knew choreographed dance moves and specified harmonies for every emotion that was evoked at any period of life.

seriously.. i think i should be on broadway someday.
i actually don't think that my voice is good enough, but i can always hope, right?

i love you!
xoxo

Dear Amanda,

I would just like you to know that I'm a tv watching beast, and I finished 6 episodes of glee today: wheter that may be partly contributed to by the fact that we didn't leave the church til midnight , who knows. So I'm pretty much in love with it. It just kills me, and I love how all these random songs are tied in. At some points I kinda feel like I'm watching a very very long high school musical. Anywho, just wanted to tell you that and omgggg I moshed tonight and it was ridiculous. Lol more info to come.

I love you!
Xoxo

Dear Amanda,

So I'm watching the "best Christmas pageant ever" and creating a faith promise card to assist me in my fund raising endeavors over the summer. I have a long list of things that i am supposed to accomplish for Allison by the end of the day, and yet I am by no way interested in completing them all. oh well. i'll do my best. haha.

SOOOO did you hear that there is an open casting call for Glee? anyone who is 16-26 can audition. If only... hahahah

So beyond the norm, Courtney came and taught us a class this morning on leadership. I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty sure I've enjoyed her class more than any of the other classes I've taken so far. omg.. and we realized this morning that we only have a week and a half left of Berean classes! yes! i've decided that as soon as i get all the books for my second year, i am going to do all the classes in like a weeks period over the summer. I'm just going to hole myself in...store up some food, and study and learn like a maniac, and then be done. it will be the biggest accomplishment, and i will be so relieved when it's over. i can barely wait. haha.

So the leaders have all continued to be extremely vague in regards to Glory week. I'll post when i get more information.

oh yea, and evidently today, Sarah's tail light went out. sad. i wish that was the only problem with my car. Did Arnie ever end up figuring out the combo?

PS...I've decided that Monday nights are one of my favorites... i really like the black market small group. It helps keep me accountable. :)
speaking of accountability... i have something to ask you later.

well, i'm going to finish watching my movie now. [YAY lunchtime]

love you.
hope you feel better.
xoxox

Dear Amanda,

TODAY IS THE DAYY!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously...
what would i do without you and your house to keep me occupied?
and, hahah, i almost came over at midnight last night.
but then i thought...that might be weird.
then i realized that it totally wouldn't have been.

and now i am really really excited. because i am just an excited person in general.

sooooo. how has your day been so far? mine has been quite entertaining.
we worked for a very long time on the church [we had a work day instead of staff devos this morning]
and i'm pretty sure that at 1:00 in our meeting with Manny we're going to get into trouble for all the things we've been screwing up in for the last week or two.
Seriously, we're all pretty much exhausted, and i feel like all we're trying to do is stay out of trouble....like i don't feel like i'm accomplishing anything else.
HAHAHAHHAHAH let me just tell you what happened as i was typing that.
Ashley walks in and says, i want to apologize for snapping at you this morning, but you were looking at a paper, and then pastor greg said not to look at it, so you put it down but you kept looking at it, then i told you not to look at it, but you kept looking at it... and i just felt like you disrespected me, Pastor Greg, Global Passion and Hillside.

WHAT!?!???!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?
hahahhahahaha my point has been proven, oh so perfectly.

i love you and i can't wait to see you tonight!!!!!
xoxo