Dear Amanda,

I wrote one blog post. then i changed my mind and decided to write another one because that one seemed just a little superficial/surfacey.

Life has been really strange these days. it is so weird for me being in this whole new job and world when i'm at Red Robin.. but i REALLY like it. like, when i'm working at the silver store, it is SO different. like the managers at red robin really care about what's happening besides just money.. and everyone seems to really care about each other. it's just a really good environment. and the last couple times that i've worked there, i'm thoroughly enjoyed just being on my feet and running around grabbing menus and cleaning the bathroom every 15 minutes and opening the door for guests and giving little kids balloons. i know it sounds like a really strange thing to be soo happy about, but i really honestly am. and it's somewhere where nobody knows me, so it's really interesting seeing what people see in me... or expect from me. i realize that i really like going beyond people's expectations of me. The girl that i have been training with is named Cristina, and she seems cool. she's really nice, but she's definitely shy, she graduates hs really soon, and it has been cool going through the experience with someone else. I've forgotten how much work it takes to make your way into people's hearts. i've been trying to figure out who i need to make friends with first at red robin.. right now i'm just being nice to everyone. :)
that is red robin in a nutshell.

Let's see..home has been pretty chill recently, i think it's because no one has brought up anything regarding all the scary money stuff that is going on. My dad still doesn't have a job, but i think he just got his last check, so people aren't stressing around here yet. And everythings settled down a bit because it is everyone's celebrations this month, and the lakers just won the championship [my house is FULL of lakers fans] so since it was my brother's birthday and then it's father's day and then it's my mom's birthday, and my little sister just graduated from elementary school, everyone's pretty much in a jovial mood, especially since i've been able to take care of a few of the meals out and the presents with my job[s] thank you jesus.

I really want to finish my room so i can move back into it. i think that will be a nice relief. i feel like such a mess with all my stuff everywhere. i like being organized, but i can't do that very well when i don't have anywhere to be organized in. that's how i'm feeling about my house.

random subject change, as my parole officer you would be proud to know that it has been 2 weeks. i am very proud of myself. God has helped a lot. it is crazy how when you are trying to hear God's voice it is so much easier to stop yourself from doing things that will put up blocks between you.

As for the Philippines, i am supposed to call Angie by Saturday to tell her what i decide. Quite the deadline. I am still unsure about the whole thing. honestly, i think i'm just going to have to make a decision and trust that i did the right thing. i wish that i could give you some sort of concrete decision, but i really don't know yet. i don't think i'll know until i get on the phone and tell her. Right now, i'm not going to lie, i'm really scared that if i decide to not go i'm going to lose your friendship..or you're going to be super disappointed in me or you're going to look at me differently, and that's why i want to just say "ok, i'll go" but, i know that is not a good reason...just to avoid disappointing someone. idk.

and, that may or may not be the reason why i have been slacking on the blog.

we need to get back to texting more. i promise, i have just been nervous that you're going to hate me.

i love you a lot.
and i miss you even more. [i don't know how that's possible, but i do]

xoxoxo
Dorri.