Dear Amanda,

9 hours, 556 minutes til i am finally allowed to go over to your house again.
I am sooo happy.
Today has been a really busy day: first we worked out at the gym, which i was extremely grateful for...seeing as how i am RIDICULOUSLY sore from yesterday morning's self defense workout. seriously, my entire back is dying. But i am going to be so ripped. haha. unfortunately for me, muscle weighs more than fat. [wow, tangent...] anyways, so then we had chapel and then we had to meet with Stacy and rearrange a classroom for offramp moms. then i went straight from that to do a class with pastor eric, from which i breathed in and out twice, then i had to meet with Stacy again. then, i just escaped from the horrible curse of having to put together something that i am awful at, and i sat down and i am writing to you, and in only a short amount of time me, Manny, Jaclyn, Ashley and Zac are going to some college fair thing to advertise FUEL. I thought it was funny the people that they chose to go.. because you have the person who graduated college and came, the person who stopped college to come, and then the person who just chose to forgo college all together for a couple years. [you can put names to those descriptions if you wish]

So tomorrow's the big day... April FOOLS!!!!! do you have your little jokes to play on O all ready yet?

love you.
xoxo

Dear Amanda,

So I asked permission to spend the night on Friday and everything is a go, except i got this crazy warning that I shouldn't make your house an escape anymore because obviously things at my host home are "fine" and ahhhhhhh. He's like, if i hear that it's a problem, i'll have to do something about it. And i told him that the reason I go to your house is because i like you. and he said that it isn't a concern with anyone else. and all i wanted to do was sock him in the face and tell him its because my host home sucks. it's all i can do to not be frustrated with him putting such limitations. he acts like if i start going over to your house its suddenly going to be like, OMG where is dorri? from the Halls when in all reality, i've been gone so much anyways they thought i have been going to your house. Argh. talk about needing a punching bag... or perhaps another self defense class? definitely.

on to different matters...girl time was so untalkative today. it was weird. and it seemed like Ashley was getting really frustrated. and Jaclyn's in a weird mood. So i just made a 25 point to-do list of things that i must accomplish today to keep my mind off things. after all, what good is it to just sit around and be frustrated, why not busy yourself, right?

i think that maria is keeping track of the food she's eating, and by the sneaky glances that i make her way i've noticed that it's no wonder she's so skinny. craziness.

anyways. i love you.
i wish there was no drama here.
it frustrates me.

omg, and you want to hear something funny? ok... so yesterday a few of us went over to the hess house before the turkey dinner at pastor steves.. and we watched the blindside, right? which was an amazing movie, btw. and then i came home after the dinner and heather was like, i've been waiting for you... i have a movie that you've never seen before... hahah can you guess what movie it was? That's right... the blindside. so i tried to stay awake to watch it with her and pretend that i'd never seen it.. but i was soo tired. so i fell asleep. so we're going to watch it someday. hahahah.
oh man.

k.
peace out.

Dear Amanda,

So i haven't written on this thing in a very long time. Actually I haven't blogged at all for a good week.
I want to let you know how much i feel like i am a 12 year old who keeps getting in trouble for putting on lip gloss when she's not allowed to.
yesterday, we got in trouble for forgetting to put back the chairs after offramp,
and then today we got in trouble and everyone has to re-run the run that we did this morning because we didn't try hard enough which really PISSES me off because i ran as freaking hard as i could.. i didn't walk.. but just because i was slower than i was last week i have to run an entire freaking 5k AGAIN. i seriously could kill PG.
I'm so frustrated. that makes me want to never even try because if they are going to assume that i have just given up just because my time is a little slower, then what's the point?!?!? i feel like i'm being judged because my physical capabilities are not as good as say maria or anyone else.

whatever. and, ps, i am really annoyed at some of the people in this room.

love you.
fun life is so soon! 2 DAYS!!!!!
xoxo

Dear Amanda,

Only one more week of forced separation.
Did you realize that Manny said that people would get to go over and help out once a week and it only happened once? Haha, oh well. Whatever.
So I'm trying to think about what has happened that I haven't talked to you about. Seriously, this week has been crazy.
let's see, today is thursday... oh yea, yesterday our service went really good! the spoken word, idk, every time i listen to it to my little critical ears it gets worse and worse.

soooo, I've christened today as favorites day... because i think i just found my new favorite song which is hilarious. its by Francesca Battistelli or whatever, called "my paper heart" haha, let me explain why i love this song. it sounds like something a girl would be singing on Broadway whilst dancing down the aisles and throwing paper hearts into the audience..and then everyone on stage joins in... yep.

oh yes, and i had my first pumello yesterday, which i was told was just a really large grapefruit. unfortunately the skin was like an inch thick, and i'm pretty sure if i had just gotten a normal grapefruit then life would have been just as good. haha.
sooo sad.
it's all good though, because that's one more fruit in the world that i have tried :)

ps... i don't like drinking water because i literally have to go to the bathroom ALLLL the time.
i went like 10 times yesterday.

xoxo
love you.

1 WEEK!

Dear Amanda,

I got 27 dresses the movie in the mail today! so i now have 3 movies to contribute to our long awaited marathon... he's just not that into you, 27 dresses, and bride wars.
all really good ones. i can't wait.

so since I've been so incredibly bored at my host home recently, I've decided that I'm going to watch my way through their movie cabinet... which isn't really that big, so it really isn't that huge of a feat. i watched Raising Helen the other day, which is sooo cute! and then i watched Julie and Julia last night which i wasn't the biggest fan of. really, i can't wait til i can come to your house again. things are just different with my host family. idk.

so today is a new day..I'm planning on reorganizing my desk today. and we actually have a really fun morning ahead of us: we have devotions, then girl time, then we have a class with Courtney Wyatt which i am definitely excited about.

so in the past couple days i have added like ridiculous amounts of music to my collection that i have been stealing from sam and ashley..it's been quite fun..
and
OMG have you heard that while i pick through the fridge for leftover food, Sarah and Tasha are going to see Legally Blond the show and eating at Rutherfords?!

and i was really excited when you bought me toothpaste. [still am.]
[i'm soo thankful for you guys as my family.]

love you!
xoxo

Dear Amanda,

i feel weird. Really, really tired and no appetite.
like i have absolutely no interest in the movie I'm watching either.
lame. i think it's just because the events of today were so draining.
i wonder if maria's okay.
i mean i know she will be...
i guess I'm just worried. but i don't need to be, right?
i just have this horrible image of her ingrained in my head like hanging from a tree [as gruesome as that is]
and i shouldn't... but i do.
i just really don't know what to do about it.
i know... there's nothing i can do, but i feel like there is, and i just haven't discovered it yet.
i feel like punching something or crying or going back in time .... and yet i can't do any of those things.

i'm so confused.
i don't know what to do Amanda.
i guess i just need to give it to God. i don't even feel like doing that.
this is me... not knowing what's going on.
not often am i this confused.

love you.

Dear Amanda,

i have to write this thing called a "written word" which is like a God version of slam poetry.. the kind that they have clubs for and they just quote poetry all night long?
Anywho, so on wednesday i was informed that i have to write one by monday. and who was busy the ENTIRE time from wednesday til now and is currently exhausted? oh! ME!
and sarah's jumping down my throat...like you MUST have this done by 1... and i told her that it was impossible for me to write anything good by then.. especially being exhausted: it's all just going to come out jumbled..and i have absolutely no confidence in my ability to write poetry. i've never done it before... so how in the world am i supposed to come up with something good enough to perform in front of a group of people by the end of today?

stupid.

Dear Amanda,

today i teach freeway. i don't know what i'm doing.

Dear Amanda,

so i decided that i came up with a good idea to make a list of things that i wanted to do in napa before i left...or maybe that was you who said that... or someone else. either way, i thought this would be a fun place to put it.

1. catch a lizard.
2. learn how to do an actual drumroll
3. be entirely capable of beating someone up [you know, just in case i get attacked]
4. find a lifelong support group/ person.
5. toilet paper someone's house
6.


already accomplished:
have to stop in the middle of the road because cows are crossing
see an actual deer in nature



hahahah, this list is a bit shallow.
i'm sure there's more i'm sure that i just haven't thought of yet.

Dear Amanda,

long time no talk. So literally yesterday and today have been entirely consumed by the Family Fun Festival. Really. no spare time, whatsoever. that is crazy to me. I'm pretty sure a list of things i did yesterday include: calculating all of the profit for the candy, drinks and food sold at the FFF based on a variety of different retail prices, mapping out where all the booths would go and then making a detailed map on the computer to use, making all the food signs, organizing the games, etc, etc, etc.
you know, i talk about it like i hate it... really, i think i thrive on busy-ness. i love planning big events. so that's why i had so much fun this morning telling everyone where everything went and problem solving throughout the day. seriously.. my favorite parts [besides seeing you] was when we set up all the games and created the arrangement and when the shifts were overlapping and we had to figure out how to move all the people around so there were workers everywhere. that may sound weird... but it is true. [judge me all you want. haha]
ps...i realized for the like the 80 bajillionth time in my life today just how bad i am with names. really. i'm pretty much the worst. ever. like i introduced myself to this girl today and she was like.. we've already met [it was the interpreter's daughter..who i now realize i totally already knew.] so embarrassing.
umm.. another random conclusion i came to today? there's this little girl named Carly.. who is a little troublemaker who i'm totally in love with... who looks just like Ellie from Up! i was laughing becuase i kept thinking she looked familiar.. anywho.

oh the other really exciting thing that i did today!? I CAUGHT MY FIRST LIZARD!!!! it was just sitting on the grass! that is one more things that i can check off of my list of things that i want to do before i leave Napa. i should make an actual list of those things shouldn't i? yes. i will.

ok. so then later today we went to see Bounty Hunter as a celebration of Sam's birthday. the movies and wendys... and i officially moved myself to poverty. i have 50 cents to finish off this month with. hahahahah
it's actually a better movie than i thought it was going to be.

PS...i'm kinda worried about your neice. She's really in danger of being hated by me right now due to my extreme jealousy. i don't want to feel this way... really.

xoxo,
still me :)

Dear Amanda,

Today, I had a wonderful dark cherry soy mocha compliments of Starbucks. It was awesome... once you register a card then they send you this free drink postcard. and the best part about it is that i hadn't received the card until later on in the day after i had gone to Starbucks and already gotten a free drink :) hehehee. that's right. it's called working the system. So today isn't too exciting.. we have a couple classes, unfortunately we now have not only a tuesday night class but also a thursday night class[at least they are not taught by the same person] Oh yea. and we just found out that we're getting consequences for slacking. I've gotten into "trouble" more times this year than i think i have since like freshman year. crazy.
So i'm having trouble with my external hard drive which is extremely annoying because it has all of my music and pictures and documents on it... i kind of want to chuck the expensive non-working thing across the room. but i know that i can't.
oh well. This is when i wish i had a job.. so i could replenish my warranty on things and have other people fix it instead of just tampering with it for hours and getting absolutely nothing accomplished. This would be my life.

love you!
xoxo

Dear Amanda,

I don't think I've ever had anyone in my life who prays as much as you do... and whose prayers actually visually affect my life like yours do.
Honestly, i'm amazed. And, as much as i hate how God answers your prayers....i look up to you so much. I was just thinking about it today... and it is incredible how you have taken my little heart... and snuck your way into every little nook and cranny of my life-[whether you knew it or not...] and have already begun to make a crazy impact that i wasn't expecting out of Napa.

i think you will be one of those "forever friends"

i love you.
xoxo

Dear Amanda,

Hello! Long time no talk. So, yesterday night was an absolute blast. I hid in my room for most of the night. Then, I went to target and bought the movie He's Just Not That Into You. .. have you seen that yet? soo good. i loved it. and i got the world's cutest thank you cards...seriously I'm so excited about them.
So the random thing that i realized today is that I'm going to have to buy myself a new towel. Why you may ask? well, the world's cutest towel that i own.. [it's black and white with both sides switching polka dots] every time i use it it covers me with black fuzz.. which is both annoying and slightly awkward. haha.
So in the box that my dad sent me for my birthday were all these random little games that you play when you're super bored [perfect for me, right!?] So i now have a miniature bowling set that i busted out today and then a little thing of playdough,and also a mini touch screen scrabble game! such a blast.
SOOOO tomorrow is another holiday! Saint Patrick's Day! i have no idea what i'm going to wear but i just know that it will be ridiculously infused with green. umm speaking of holidays...someone sent me a rabbit ear headband? i wonder what makes them think i will wear that. huh.
Anywho. So i was looking at the calendar and i realized that tomorrow we are pretty much halfway through march!!! yay. and, oh have you checked that website that us interns aren't supposed to know about? they finally updated it for the first time since January. and they finally told us when Glory Week is: April 12-18. yay. i honestly think that we are all going to murder each other that week. if a lot of us already aren't getting along really just spending 6am-5pm together, imagine 24/7. oh well. it will be an adventure. i like adventures. however, I'm not 100% excited about the ropes course. we'll see how that goes.

PS... totally craving lemon bars. I can't wait.

15 days.

Dear Amanda,

Today i have an AG history final.... and i'm almost 75% sure that i will fail. seriously, i've never tried to memorize so much information about names and dates and events that i've never even heard of so hard in my life... and yet, i feel like i retained absolutely none of it. so....adieu to my record of passing every berean final that i've taken. So sad.

oh, and zac and i haven't exchanged one word or even a glance for the last 3 days. Imagine how great next year is going to be! yay! haha.
i missed you last night. So sad i didn't see you.

......[after the test].......

HAHAHAHAHAHA i just got 100%.


love you.
xoxo

Dear Amanda,

Today is my birthday!!!!!!!! YAY!
I'm soooo excited. So I have already begun to have a great day. Me and Jaclyn hung out this morning, and now i am sitting in class having a blast already. really.
i can't wait to see you!

xoxo

Dear Amanda,

Hi friend! i feel like i haven't posted on this thing in ages... or maybe just a couple days. I vaguely remember being about ready to post something on here about how fate is so cruel that i was sick on the day that i had completely arranged to be able to see you when you randomly showed up with your family to the church :) haha. That really made me laugh: so absolutely random. So, today, the big story is, omg, so we were all at the point Reyes lighthouse.. you know the one that is the farthest out peninsula on the California coast and all that jazz? We were all down there.. down the 800 bajillion steps it seems it took to get there.. and then danielle was like, "look, on the other side of this gate, there's sea glass, and i really want to get them.. so, i hopped the fence, [which looks out over a cliff over the ocean btw] and got the sea glass just in time for some park ranger to yell "HEY! What do you think you're doing? Don't you know how dangerous that is? And you would do that in front of children?! No one is going to save you if you fall!!!!"
and i laughed, hopped the fence back, and handed danielle her seaglass.

those were the events for the day.
love you.

xoxo
the girl just a street away... [Who turns 19 tomorrow!!!]

Dear Amanda,

today i watched the oscars, and wished that i owned every single dress that people wore.
honestly? i think i have a problem...i LOVE fancy dresses and dressing up.
Good thing i get to do that 2 days in a row this week :)
So.. if all things work out i will see you for a little bit tomorrow, and i am way excited.
ps, i hope your girls start feeling better

well i am exhausted today. i don't know what's wrong with me, i'm not feeling 100% either.... hopefully it gets better in the next couple days!

love you.

xoxo
the girl just a street away

Dear Amanda,

today, I saw a shirt i thought you would appreciate. it said "awesome ends with ME"
I chuckled.
Actually, I woke up this morning feeling like c-r-a-p. My cough is getting worse, and after running in American Canyon i totally felt like throwing up... and when I don't feel good- I don't have the best attitude in the world, so you can imagine how this morning has gone. But then, when we went to tutoring and I was trying not to cough my lungs out, I decided it might not be the best idea in the world to contaminate a bunch of little kids. So I sat in the car and napped.. which was the best idea in the world... because now I feel much better, I'm not coughing as much and my attitude has taken a turn upwards :)

btw... Zac says "what's kickin yo?"

i say..... "strange."

love you.
xoxo

the girl just a street away.

Dear Amanda,

So today, i spent 5 hours driving. First, 2 hours on the way to Oakdale at 6 am this morning. Then, slightly more than 2 coming back from Oakdale, because of course it was the 5 north we were supposed to get onto, not the south. Anyways, after getting extremely lost and even my GPS being confused as to where we were on the map, we finally found our way to the local TJ Maxx [in walnut creek] and i couldn't even enjoy the fact that i was at my favorite store in the world besides Homegoods and TJ Maxx combined, because everyone was like, omg, where are we? anyways. so then we went to Sacramento for a choir concert that Jaclyn used to be in, so tack in another 2 hours [one there, one back] and there's your rough estimate of why i pretty much ended today with my butt glued to the carpet seat of Sam's car.

it was a blast though. we played our music way too loud, and did our best to get Maria all hyphie. which.. we totally succeeded at. YES! haha.

Today was a really hard day in the missing Amanda department.

ilove you.
xoxo

the girl just a street away.

Dear Amanda,

Today, after the adventure of my car almost exploding on the way to drop off the invitations at your house, Jaclyn and I spent all day watching 80's movies and random movies such as Sunshine Cleaning, Mannequin 2, and Girls Just Want To Have Fun. It was absolutely grand. We pretty much holed ourselves up, like shut the blinds, scattered movies everywhere and I began doing laundry as we watched all the movies we could possibly want. The best day off ever? minus being at your house and not seeing you. But there was a certain degree of comfort driving the oh so familiar road from jefferson to kathleen. [ps, omg, totally just felt like that moment in a movie where they use the title in the scene and it's all "how clever!] wow.
Anyways. So now, I am at Jaclyn's house having a sleepover...[i think she secretly wants me to just take my mind off my birthday party... i think she thinks i'm obsessed. haha] And, even though we have to be at the church at 6:45 in the morning to drive to Oakdale, I am up and online. hah. of course.

i love you and miss you a ton.
seriously, as pathetic as it sounds, i think i'm having withdrawals.

xoxo

the girl just a street away

Dear Amanda,

I sent you something in your Facebook inbox because i figured it wasn't smart to post here. Today I dropped off your invitations at your house and my car almost exploded... it was riding the line between totally overheating and me having to push my car all the way home and still normal but just jolting like someone who has turrets. Seriously, it like gives me a headache and stresses me out so much when I drive it..at all. How ridiculous. Anywho. So today I am spending the day trying not to cough out my lungs and sitting around with Jaclyn watching movies. And, I am going to try and dissolve the mountain of laundry that I have sitting in my room.

sound like fun? I think so.

xoxo,

the girl just a street away

...

Dear Amanda,

So today marks the first day that people get to go over to your house and help out. And, as much as I would love to say that I am coming over, [because God knows I have SOOOOOO much to tell you] but I forfeited my right to go today because next Friday other people get to go over.. and how ironic, what should that day be but my birthday?!?! Yay! so the countdown begins...7 more days.
So I have so much to tell you that it is really hard to come up with other things that i want to tell you that i would be willing to just type up over email.
Well.. your invitation should be arriving in your mailbox at some point tonight :) and Anna Dunne's with it. Because, i don't know how else to get it to her.

Today is probably going to be a kinda boring day.. not really a lot to do, but we got to sleep in today! Got into the office at 9. Fun stuff.

how are you? this conversation is so one sided. haha. I guess that's what can be expected with a blog though. Maybe i'll text you right now. yes. that is what i will do.

love you!
xoxo,
the girl just a street away.

later this morning...

Dear Amanda,

No need to worry.. I only missed three words. What is that, like a 97%?
And, I read it for the first time this morning.
[go me.]

Goodness knows one of these days I'm going to put something off til the very last minute, and i won't be able to come through with it. That will stink.

Good thing that wasn't today.

love you!
xoxo,
the girl just a street away

Last Night

Dear Amanda,

Last night I chose sleep over memorization.
And then, I tossed and turned all night.

Now, I pay the price.

xoxo,
the girl just a street away

Surrounded by a Sea of Elegance...

Dear Amanda,
So you would not believe how many dresses I am sitting with right now. Seriously, I just got my box of dresses that my dad sent me, and I am so excited! I'm not 100% sure that i will fit into the one i want to, but it will definitely be an adventure. It's kinda weird because it's like sitting with a bunch of your memories. Who knew i would be so obsessed with fancy dresses? hmm. Any-who, so here I am, sitting here, talking to you instead of memorizing the very, very long 2 scriptures that i must be able to quote tomorrow for core element...and i have no regrets.
Oh yes, i was going to ask you if you received the hug and kiss i sent home with O for you. If not, at least know that i sent them. :)
Omg. so in small group today, it was quite hilarious. First of all, my little children are extremely rambunctious and i absolutely love them for it, but there is one little asian boy who, well, let me tell you the back story. The last time i had him in my group he was talking about how he wanted to "kill all the girls" something i definitely want influencing all the other little boys in the group[who knows what kind of rebellion and homicide they could muster up... they are 10 year olds after all] So today, he decided it would be a great idea to reenact this time when he was scared and fell over.. so he screamed and fell over and then got up and fell over again.. and again.. and again.. and again. it was so ridiculous. but kinda entertaining at the same time.
i should probably get to memorizing those verses so i don't, idk, get kicked out?

I love you!
xoxo,
the girl just a street away

This morning...

Dear Amanda,
this morning we had to run at the track, in the pouring rain. And it's not just like, oh look it's sprinkling... but instead like a tidal wave falling from the sky. And evidently, we're not allowed to ask "why are we running in the rain?" Because the answer is obvious... "if you can't run in the rain, you can't survive the mission field". [duh.] So as me, Sarah and Tasha are sitting in the car waiting til the last possible minute to get out, i remember the miracle of Christmas vacation...[bear with me] i was out in my garage one day trying to find all those hidden treasures that you keep in your house that never really mattered when you lived there, but once you move and forget about them they're really exciting,and i had discovered a poncho. And i thought to myself.. i could potentially want this at some point in napa... and this morning i patted myself on the back for it. haha. however, it didn't really help much. i think it's high time i invested in an umbrella.
so anyways. We are all running around in the pouring rain, and what do you know, it stops raining the instant we stop running. irony at it's best, in my opinion.
Sometimes I just think... wouldn't you rather us be able to perform at our best for the next week instead of having one morning of a "successful running experience" and then have everyone on their sickly death beds for the next week? idk. i know i already have a bit of a cough, and Jaclyn feels like death..and lexie had to run out of the room last night because she was throwing up every two minutes. Oh well.. whatever they think is good for us.

this is what i looked like in my poncho... that no one will ever see me in again.

hahaha

xoxo,
the girl just a street away

Between You and I...

Dear Amanda,
Since this is between solely you and I, and you know, whoever else happens to discover this website who doesn't know us, I'm going to just say whatever comes to mind. So first post. First of all, I think that this is an absolutely brilliant idea, and I'm so glad you thought of it, becuase it will definitely keep me busy and keep me from committing suicide. haha. i didn't mean that... i promise.
ps... totally feel like we're in a secret club btw. like, feel like my parents just told me i can't hang out with my best friend because she's a bad influence on me or something [which i know, is not the case, but it's the feeling i can relate it to the most]
You know what I've decided? I've decided my motto for the next month is "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"

However, I do think it is absolutely ridiculous that I have to type this to you just like i would if i was in a separate country when you are literally down the street. whatever.

Won't you reading this take away from your family time as well?
Wait... this isn't fair to the other interns either...do they all have a blog for just you and them as well?

haha. sorry. that was uncalled for.

love you!
xoxo,

the girl just a street away